Stay Connected by Disconnecting

While here Malaysia, my BlackBerry was stolen.  It reminded me of something I wrote in my book Goal-Free Living:

Every day we are presented with numerous opportunities, but they often pass us by without our even noticing. In order to find these hidden opportunities, you must be sensitive to the environment around you. Sometimes this means disconnecting to stay connected.

Technology can be a wonderful boon to humankind, but sometimes we abuse it in ways that prevent us from really participating in life. For example, I have a BlackBerry phone. My original thinking was that this would free me from my computer and allow me to stay connected. Yes, it does allow me to stay connected electronically, but it also makes me disconnected from what I should really be doing—being present.

I once was having lunch with a colleague. Although my BlackBerry was sitting on the table with the ringer off, based on the color of a flashing LED I could tell if I had any new e-mails. I was waiting for an important message, so I was constantly glancing at the flashing light to see if it turned red. I received an e-mail every few minutes from someone—either a real person or spam. I did not receive the e-mail I was so eager to get until hours later. In the meantime I was completely detached from the person I was having lunch with, missing an opportunity to really be connected. This is how staying connected can interfere with being connected.

I wrote that in 2005.  Unfortunately, my CrackBerry addiction has actually worsened since then.

Now I am being put to the ultimate test.  My BlackBerry is missing and there no cost effective way for me to replace it until I return to the states in 3 weeks. I was able to buy an inexpensive “regular” phone with a local Malaysian number.  But my US mobile number will remain in suspended animation until I return.  No one will be able to send me text messages or leave me voicemails.  I will only be able to check email from my computer.  No more checking email every 30 seconds like I did with the BlackBerry.

I feel my withdrawal symptoms kicking in already.  It takes 30 days to break a habit.  Maybe this is my chance to break my CrackBerry addiction.  Maybe this is a chance for me to “stay connected by disconnecting.”

In addition to my other speeches in Asia, I will also be speaking tomorrow at the MPH bookstore in the Mid Valley Megamall in Kuala Lumpur.

Turning a Passion into a Profession

In yesterday’s Boston Sunday Globe, I was quoted in an article entitled “Turning a Passion into a Profession.” The piece shares the story of people who left their regular jobs in pursuit of their passion. Here was my contribution to the article:

And his approach to realizing his dream was well-conceived because he was not only doing something that created value for himself, but for others as well, said Steve Shapiro, a motivational career speaker from Quincy.

“If you’re serious about pursuing your passion, you have to do your homework and put yourself through training and only make the leap when you’re ready,” he said. “And once you are, you can’t just dip your toe, you have to jump in with both feet.”

Shapiro said it’s important not to get restricted or intimidated by the reality checks that will be thrown at your dreams, but to understand that there will be sacrifices along the way.

The author of the article, Kate M. Jackson, also asked me to write 5 tips for a side-bar. They were not published, so I am including them here. [Read more]

How to Be Present to Every Moment

Imagine the following situation. You are single and live in New Jersey just outside of New York City (NYC). Your employer wants you to work in London for a few years. You are excited about the possibility of living overseas and are interested in the job. Assuming that the costs of living for New Jersey and London are roughly equivalent, which option would you choose?

1. Temporary Option: You stay an employee of the NYC office and are “on loan” to London. You continue to pay your mortgage/rent in New Jersey, but can rent/sublet your place to someone during your absence. The company pays all of your expenses in London: housing, food, and travel to and from the US. They cover the difference in taxes between the US and UK. Basically you have no expenses for the three years you are there and you can sock away 100% of your salary. Your stay is temporary. After your time overseas, you will return to the US.

2. Permanent Option: You transfer from the NYC office and become an employee of the London office. You are paid in British pounds just like all other British employees and you pay UK taxes which are higher. Although you sell your house in New Jersey and have no expenses in the US, you need to cover all of your expenses in London. There is no guarantee of a job in the NYC office should you decide to return to the states.

Financially, option #1 is a SIGNIFICANTLY better deal.

But when faced with this situation in real life, I chose option #2.

Why?

Three years is a long time. I wanted London to feel like home. I wanted to live like a native. I wanted to know that there was no return to the US. It forced me to be present to what I was doing and to take full advantage of England. I formed new social circles. I dated. I lived as though I would be there forever. London became my home. A little more than three years later, I was back in the US, without a job.

Although from a financial perspective, it may not have been a great decision, it was the right decision. I had the most spectacular three years of my life. Had I chosen option #1, I may never have felt settled. I always would have known that I was leaving. It would have been a missed opportunity.

How often do you live with uncertainty? How much of that uncertainty is created by you in your mind? How much does this uncertainty ruin your present moment experiences?

Have you ever been in a great relationship…yet continually worried about it ending? Maybe you were concerned that your partner didn’t love you as much as you loved them. Or perhaps you thought that your relationship was just too good to be true. Although you have great times together, these concerns permeate your mind. Doesn’t the uncertainty about the future affect your pleasure now? Doesn’t it also this increase the likelihood that your greatest fears will materialize and your partner will leave? Let’s face it, most relationships eventually end. You leave your partner, your partner leaves you, or your partner dies. But if you live with the anticipation of that ending, you will never enjoy the present.

Have you ever been in a job that you didn’t like? Did you daydream continuously about leaving…yet three years later you are still in the same job? Instead of dreaming about the future, be present to what you can do today in your job. Look for new opportunities internally. Do the best job you can. Find ways of adding more value. If you are focused on leaving, you will be miserable. And the odds are, you will lose your job because of poor performance. That’s when you will begin to daydream about how great your job used to be.

Being present, without worrying about the future, is not easy. Could I have chosen option #1 and treated London like my home? Quite possibly. However, for me it was better to take what seemed like a permanent option, even though it was just as temporary.

What if everything is temporary? But what if the option we choose – temporary versus permanent – is the one thing that determines our happiness?

Where in life are you living the “temporary option,” where you think/hope/fear that your current situation will end? Where is this not serving you well? How can you choose the “permanent option” so that you are living fully in each moment?

This may be THE key to happiness.

How to Balance Work and Life

A few years back, I was an instructor of Stephen Covey’s “Principle Centered Leadership” course within Accenture. Over 75% of the attendees said that achieving balance in their life was their number one reason for taking the course. This is not surprising given the fast pace of life today.

But what does balance mean?

Balance implies two opposing forces that reach equilibrium. This is not very easy to do. Remember when you were a kid trying to balance with someone else on a sea saw? Either you were up or you were down. But rarely were you balanced.

In life, either we are working hard or we playing hard. But we are not in balance.

Maybe balance is not the solution. What’s the alternative? Integration.

Find ways of integrating your work life and personal life together. Make them indistinguishable, so that it is all just part of your life. In doing this, you free up more time (because you are often “killing two birds with one stone”), you gain new interests (because you often get involved in activities you might otherwise avoid or not make time for), and your life becomes whole rather than piecemeal.

One simple example is that of a professional speaker who loves golf. He now includes golf lessons as one of his client offerings. He gets to do what he loves while making money.

This concept applies to increasing time for relationships. Find ways of doing things together with your partner: hobbies, interests, chores, or even work. A husband and wife I know are actively involved in each other’s interests. He now takes cooking lessons with her (her interest), and she goes golfing with him (his interest). They created time by integrating their activities, enabling them to have more time for their individual pursuits.

How can you begin to integrate the pieces of you life?

The process is simple. First, look at what things interest you most. These can be anything from hobbies to professional interests to simple pleasures. Next, ask how you can shift your daily schedule to “imbed” these items activities in what you do. This will require some creative thinking. Finally, have the courage to ask for what you want. It’s not always easy, but it is always possible.

Many years ago, I decided I wanted to be a professional speaker and an author. Instead of leaving the security of my consulting job, I decided to shift my responsibilities to include writing and speaking as part of my job. Unfortunately, this role did not exist. Therefore I needed to “create” a position that was of value to the organization – and then have the courage to ask for it and make it happen. I did. And my idea grew into a 20,000 person organization. As part of my job, I wrote a book that was sold (internally) to 40,000 consultants and clients. I was giving as many as 100 speeches a year to tens of thousands of people. I integrated my professional aspirations into my daily job. This eventually led to a book deal with a major publisher, which I used to launch my professional speaker career.

Here’s a fantastic – and radical – example.

My brother-in-law, Gary, sells cancer insurance door-to-door. While I have no interest in perpetuating stereotypes, I am guessing that most people would cling happily to their current job if door-to-door sales was their only other alternative. But he likes it. It has afforded him the opportunity to meet wonderful people, help families in the community and make a fairly good living. While enjoyable, admittedly his job is not his passion. His passion is travel, and like most Americans, he squeezes this love into one, maybe two weeks over the course of a year.

One night, after a particularly difficult day on the job, Gary and my sister Deborah engaged in a conversation as to how he could create more passion within his career. It was unacceptable for them to wait for retirement or a windfall of money to land in their account. They wanted to live their dreams now, while they could. So they engaged in a spirited discussion and brainstormed through a variety of ways they could infuse more passion into their lives today.

After much deliberation, the pieces started to fit together. It just so happens that Gary’s company is licensed in 47 states around the country! And as long as there are doors to knock upon, he can work in any. It was in that very moment that the decision was made. They rolled up their sleeves, did a bit of research, sold their home and purchased a 38 foot motor home so that they could hit the road and do his door-to-door job, state-by-state. No longer would they have to pine for those measly two weeks per year to enjoy the beauties that this country has to offer. Now, they could live it every day.

Initially, the thought of living in a giant box for a year was a bit daunting for my sister. So it was her turn to explore her passions. Having been involved with numerous charitable organizations in the past, and having let that slip in recent years, she longed to get back into the community to make a difference. It occurred to Deb that they would be a rolling billboard, and there had to be a way to raise awareness and funds for a worthy organization given the continuous travel schedule they had created. It didn’t take long for Deb to partner with a charitable foundation, St. Baldrick’s, an organization that raises money to combat childhood cancer, to create a nationwide awareness tour.

Their lives are totally integrated. Gary can continue his day job, the two of them get to travel 100% of the time while spending more time together as a couple, and they get to make a difference in the world.

If you would like to learn more about their SuRVivor Tour or make a tax deductible contribution, visit them at www.thesurvivorrv.com. In support of my sister’s efforts, I will be donating an audio version of Goal Free Living for each contribution made to St. Baldrick’s of $50 or more.

Although Gary and Deborah’s idea of integration may be a bit radical for most, the concept of integration can be done for anyone in any position. All it requires is a bit of creative thinking, some risk taking, and asking for what you want.

How to Get More Done…By Being Lazy

Back in 1985, I worked for Unisys (then Burroughs) as part of an engineering co-op program while in college. This gave me hands-on experience working in the production control department for this large computer manufacturer. As I was leaving the company, the department head called me the laziest person he ever met. He meant it as a compliment. Let me explain.

When I started this job I worked 50 hours a week. My direct supervisor worked 60 hours a week. Life was good, until my supervisor was laid off and I inherited all of her work. Faced with having to work 110 hours a week, I decided to take a hard look at what we were doing.

Over the course of a weekend, I analyzed all of the activities I now needed to perform. I hoped to get my work from 110 hours to 50 hours (or less). Here’s what I found:

• Only 20% of my work was high value add “knowledge work.” These were the items I still needed to perform.
• Many activities we performed were non-value add. We had done them in the past, but they were no longer necessary, so I stopped doing them altogether.
• Several activities were really the responsibility of another department or individual. Therefore, I worked to get these activities assigned to the correct parties. Not only did this reduce my workload, but it also reduced the overall time required by the company as a whole.
• A large number of “transactional” activities were done manually and were candidates for automation (we used punch cards back then). None of these activities were very complicated, so I was able to write some simple programs in a matter of hours.

After only two days of analysis and work, I managed to get my workload from 110 hours to 20 hours. Given that I had free time on my hands, I looked for other activities in the company that could be made more productive.

I discovered a large computer program that was run once a week. It helped balance workloads across the entire company (don’t worry about the details). The software was exceptionally intricate and the data requirements were massive. It often took days to input the data. Due to the complexity of the program, it had to be run overnight. I analyzed the overall process and quickly developed a “rough cut” version of the software that took only minutes to input data and seconds to run. After using my program for a year, they found that its results were within 5% accuracy of the larger program that took over 100 times the effort to run.

Most people do whatever it takes to get the job done. I was “too lazy” to do it the traditional way. I don’t mind working hard, but I don’t want to work any harder than I need to. If I can get everything done in 20 hours rather than 110 hours, I can then choose how I spend my free time. I can spend my time being creative and develop new ideas, I can perform high value work, or I can take a break and relax. It’s my choice. And it is your choice too.

• What work do you do that is non-value add? Stop doing it!
• What work do you do that others can/should do? Delegate or outsource these activities. Get a “virtual assistant” to do your routine activities. Partner with someone who might be better skilled to do this activity.
• What work can be automated? Buy off the shelf software to help speed things up. Or use eLance.com to find someone who can build you a custom computer program.

Focus your energies on the items that are truly value add AND differentiate you from the competition. Eliminate, automate, or delegate the rest.

What other strategies have you used to get more done with less effort?

P.S. If the concept of getting more done with less effort appeals to you, be sure to read my article on “compass-driven strategic planning”

P.P.S. The picture to the right is the image on the cover of the Russian translation of Goal-Free Living. Looks more like “goal-less living” to me.

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