What is Your New Year’s Theme?

New Year’s Eve is just around the corner.  Many of you know that I have a tradition of setting a “theme” for each year rather than a resolution.

My theme for 2009 was “cool things.”  And it definitely was a year of cool things.

I signed a 2 book deal with Penguin’s Portfolio imprint.  I became InnoCentive’s Chief Innovation Evangelist.  I had many wonderful trips to cool places, including several to London and Copenhagen.  And I got to speak at some very cool events like the Global Creative Leadership Summit and the FT Innovate conference.  Most important of all, my family remains happy and healthy.

I’m not sure what my 2010 theme will be yet, but I know great things are in store.

If you have not done so, please read my article on setting New Year’s Resolutions.The article explains the 6 steps for setting a theme, including “Choose a broad theme rather than specific measurable goal.”  Excerpts of this article have appeared in over 300 newspapers around the world, including Costco’s Magazine.

You may also be interested in some statistics about New Year’s Resolutions.  Here is a highlight of some of the statistics:

Only 8% of people are always successful in achieving their resolutions.19% achieve their resolutions every other year.  49% have infrequent success.  24% (one in four people) NEVER succeed and have failed on every resolution every year. That means that 3 out of 4 people almost never succeed. Regardless, there is no correlation between happiness and resolution setting/success.  People who achieve their resolutions every year are NO happier than those who do not set resolutions or who are unsuccessful in achieving them.

Happy New Year!

Why Being Self-Centered is Good

This may seem like an odd blog entry, but it has been the topic of conversation over many dinners recently.

Although we are taught from a young age that being self-centered is a bad thing, I think that more people would benefit from being this way. Let me explain.

To start off, I am not suggesting that people should be selfish. I think of selfish as being “exclusively concerned with oneself.”

Being self-centered – in my opinion – is entirely different.

Centering is what you base your life on.

My parents are children-centered. For them, my sister and I are the most important part of their life. They live vicariously through us.

I have friends who are spouse-centered. They do everything in their power to please their partner.

Too many of my friends are work-centered. Their job is the most important aspect in their life. They get meaning from their career. It is no surprise that men are twice as likely to die during their first five years of retirement, than they are prior to retirement.

Others are service-centered. They give their lives to charity and others. They sacrifice their own well-being in the name of contribution. Oprah may fall into this category. One of the reasons she claims she put on all of her weight is that she did not spend enough time taking care of herself.

Which leads us to the benefits of self-centering.

Throughout your life, there is only one constant. You. Your children may pass away before you do. Your spouse may, in spite of all of your loving, leave you. Your job (as many people are finding out) is only temporary. Even service to others can be fraught with challenges.  If you center on someone or something else, you may be giving up control of your life.

Only YOU will be around for as long as you live.

Therefore, instead of centering your life on someone or something that may not be around as long as you, maybe you should try being self-centered. This gives you some level of stability in an unpredictable world. Even the Merriam-Webster dictionary definition – “independent of outside force or influence” – supports this notion.

Anyone who has flown on a plane has heard the flight attendant say, “If the plane loses oxygen pressure for any reason, the oxygen masks will drop down out of the small overhead compartment. If you are seated next to someone who might need some assistance, you should put your own mask on first, and then breathe normally as you assist the other person.”

Take care of yourself first. Be centered. Be grounded. Take control of your life and don’t get derailed by circumstances around you.

Being self-centered is NOT the same as being selfish. Those who are self-centered are NOT narcissistic, hedonistic, or self-absorbed. Because self-centered individuals are more grounded, they are able to give even more to others.  They have the potential to be even more generous and to make even greater contributions.

In some respects, this is in line with Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (pictured above). Self-actualization (which is where I put self-centering) is the highest level, higher than esteem, love/belonging, safety and physiological needs.  Interestingly, creativity is listed under self-actualization.

What do you think?

P.S. Some may argue a more theological perspective. For example, Stephen Covey (of the 7 Habits fame) authored, “The Divine Center: Why We Need a Life Centered on God and Christ and How We Attain It.” As I try to avoid religion and politics in this blog, I’ll leave this discussion for another time.

Remembering Paul Newman

Although I did not know Paul Newman personally, I always admired him.  He was an Academy Award winning actor (I remember being enthralled by “The Sting” as a kid), a championship race car driver, a successful food business man (I love Newman’s Own dressings and salsas) and a philanthropist.

He achieved so much and impacted so many lives.

Did he have plans to do all of this?  I’m sure at some level he must have.  But in a recent AP article, two friends - Robert Forrester and David Horvitz – implied that he was (using my words) a bit more ”goal-free.”

“Even though he was a Hollywood icon…it was a rare moment in which Newman reflected on how he would be remembered after his death,” Horvitz recalled.  “Most of the time he didn’t think about legacy.  He was pretty much in the moment.”

Being in the moment is a cornerstone living goal-free.  Avoiding excessive planning is another cornerstone.

Forrester joked how “such planning wasn’t part of Newman’s nature. A sign famously hangs in Newman’s Westport, Connecticut, offices that reads, ‘If I had a plan I would be screwed.’”

According to the article, Newman “welcomed the opinions of others as he pursued the business and his philanthropic efforts.” Forrester explained how the actor “believed in the benefit of ‘creative chaos,’ where, as in a movie set, different people offer ideas about how a scene should be handled.”

I love this concept.  Everyone has a voice and is valued for their contribution.

And contribution is the one legacy Newman wanted.

He once said that he wanted to be remembered for “the ‘Hole in the Wall’ camps he helped to start across the world for children with life-threatening illnesses and to make sure that 100 percent of the profits from his popular food company, Newman’s Own, would continue to benefit such camps and thousands of other charities.”

To date he has donated over $250 million to charities and has impacted countless lives.

Whether or not Paul Newman lived goal-free is irrelevant.  What is clear is that he lived by high principles.  If we could all live like Paul Newman, the world would be a better place.

The 30 Day Challenge

How are you doing with the 30 day challenge?  For me, the first few days were tough.  What made it even more difficult was that my hotel does not have internet access in the rooms.  So whenever I want to access email, I need to go to the hotel lobby. 

I’m on day 4, and as predicted, I am no longer stressed about checking my email.  I set up an autoresponder that gives people my agent’s contact information if they need a response that is time sensitive. 

I’m off to Bangkok in a few hours…

CrackBerry Addiction

It has been nearly 24 hours without my BlackBerry.  It’s funny.  When dieting, all you can think about is food.  When your BlackBerry is stolen, all you can think about is your Blackberry. 

How much time do we waste as individuals – and organizations – thinking about, and playing with our toys?

I just read David Zinczenko’s “From the Editor” column in this month’s “Men’s Health” magazine.  While in South Africa, he did not have data service, so his BlackBerry did not work.  Here’s what he wrote:

“For the first 24 hours, I was a mess.  I was begging the concierge to open the business center at 3 a.m., so I could keep tabs on what was happening 17 in-flight hours away in New York. I was driving the hotel staff, and myself, a little bit nuts.

“Then something happened on day 4 of my stay. I was shaking out my beach towel – the sun was starting to edge down, my hunger was beginning to rise up, a lobster bake was going on somewhere – and as the grains of sand flew out onto the beach, I realized I had forgotten something.  I had forgotten to check my e-mail.  Indeed, I had forgotten about e-mail entirely for nearly the whole day.  And here’s the funny thing: It was on this vacation that my life changed, in many wonderful ways.  Not the least of which is this: I learned that taking a break from the stress of daily life gives you the resources to better handle it when you return.”

Here’s my 30 day challenge to you:

1. Lock your BlackBerry away.  Or, if it also serves as your phone, turn off the “data services” so that you can no longer receive email.
2. Turn off “automatic send/receive” in Outlook.  This way you won’t be notified every time you have email.
3. Check your email only 3 times a day.  Choose a schedule that works for you.  I do first thing in the morning, lunch time, and end of work day.  If people have been trained to expect instantaneous responses, use an auto-responder to let them know that you are checking email infrequently and that they should call you if it is urgent.
4. Use the phone to communicate rather than email.  Make personal contact.

This should improve your productivity, increase your ability to stay focused, enhance your relationships, and reduce your stress. 

Well, maybe it will reduce your stress on day 4, when you stop thinking about email.

Next Page »