When You Sit on the Fence, You Get Splinters in Your Ass!

During the Q&A section of a presentation of mine on Goal-Free Living, a woman in the audience asked…

“I work in a cubicle in a well known technology firm and I am unhappy. How do I know if it is me or if it is my job? Do I need to change myself or change my job?”

I asked others in the audience for their answer to that question. Most people gave answers that hedged their bet. “Stay at your job while you explore other options,” or “If you are really miserable, find another job quickly and quit this job,” or the most outspoken, “Quit your job now! How could you work another day for the evil empire?”

My answer was a bit different.  I said,  “It doesn’t really matter.”

With the right mindset, every decision is the right decision. If you believe that the path you are on is the right one, then it is. Quitting your job doesn’t change things. You can change jobs all you like, but it won’t matter if you don’t have the right attitude. Conversely you can change your attitude and find new opportunities where you are today, without changing jobs.

We often fail to make progress in life (and business) because we want to wait until we have all of the “answers.”  We want to know all of the facts, look at everything from every angle, and study the details.  In the end, we just sit on the fence.  Instead of answers, maybe what is needed are decisions.

Sadly, many of us suffer from a mild form of  “decidophobia“  – the fear of making decisions.  It is human nature to avoid issues that make us uncomfortable or afraid, and therefore we decide not to decide. Indecision is a no man’s land with no direction and no progress.

Should I change my job?  Should I buy a new house?  Where should I go on vacation?  What should I do with my life?  These all seem like pretty big decisions.  And for most people they are.

We think “Oh, it’s so hard to make these big decisions,” when what’s really hard is the indecision.

In life there are no right or wrong decisions. There are only decisions. When we come to a fork in the road, we tend to overanalyze it. We might say, “I have an opportunity to create this new business venture but . . .” So we end up staying on the same path. Or we may choose a particular path, but then rethink our decision.

One of the reasons we worry so much and wonder whether we are on the right track is that we often see decisions as long term, semi-permanent decisions.

If you are driving your car and you get onto a highway where there are no exits for 300 miles, you had better be certain that you are on the right road. Making the right decision is critical when you don’t have any alternative paths on which to travel. Most people relate to their decisions like hopping onto a road five-years-long with no exits – one road, no options, lots of traffic, and many potholes.

But what if you were on a beautiful winding country road where there are exits every mile, frequent intersections, and a rotary from time to time? What if you had many paths on which to travel, and from which to choose? Then making the right decision becomes less stressful, because you could always change direction. If you drove down a road like this, you would only have to plan to the next fork in the road.

Always move forward. Make decisions.  Movement in any direction is better than stagnation or indecision.

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