Letter From a Cancer Survivor

One important concept of Goal-Free Living is being present; being focused on where you are now rather than worrying about the future. In the process of giving up control, greater – and unpredictable – things emerge. This often gives you a deep appreciation for what you have…even when you don’t have your health. Here is an email I received from a reader, Yanthe, in the Netherlands.

I always had a pretty ordinary life; went to college, to university (picked a study that would secure me a job), took a job I didn’t like, was stressed out all the time, and dreamt about winning the lottery which would surely give me a great life.

Then I was diagnosed with cancer, which turned out to be even better than winning the lottery. At first I was feeling sorry for myself and obviously very worried. Then this huge gift was bestowed on me while reading in a book about enjoying the now; to enjoy the good things in my life…now. I thought “Yes, I can do that. I can enjoy my husband’s company now, this very minute.” I looked at my husband sitting beside me, and there was this huge transforming moment in which I suddenly wasn’t conscious of anything else except being happy with my husband being in my life. My attention was completely focused in that singular moment, and I just knew that I would have a great time if I now enjoyed all that mattered in my life. And I did.

This experience showed me how absolutely astonishing life is. Just looking at simple things would bring tears to my eyes out of sheer beauty. It turned out that the little things like enjoying a meal with my father-in-law, or the sunshine in the morning, were actually the big enjoyable things. And the things I had always thought were big important things were actually the things that mattered least. I remember taking a shower one morning and shampooing my bald head (due to the chemo) and feeling totally and utterly happy with me, my life, and the way it was unfolding. My only job was to enjoy it, and everything else would just turn out fine…and it did. Doctors were surprised at how strong I was, and that I had even been camping for 2 days when I was supposed to be too tired to do anything. I had the time of my life…and I got well.

A year ago I lost my job, which turned out to be a great gift as well because it gave me the chance to set up business as a photographer, a desire of mine.

I like the whole “Goal Free Living” concept because enjoying the now plays an important role in it, taking the time to enjoy the things that really matters most, is really very liberating.

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Skeptical About Skepticism

I recently went to a “skeptics” convention in Las Vegas. When I checked in, it looked like I was signing up for a Star Trek convention. There were some, well, interesting people. In total, there were 800 attendees discussing skepticism in all areas, from psychic abilities and conspiracy theorists to environmental concerns and biases of the media. There were some top notch presenters, including big names like Penn & Teller, Matt Stone and Trey Parker (of South Park fame), Adam Savage (from the MythBusters). They were all great. There were radio personalities, scientists, professors, authors, paranormal debunkers, and so many more.

This was my first time to this event. The conversations (in the class and late night in the bar) were fascinating. No topics were taboo. And opinions were flying. What become apparent to me was that on the whole, the group could be described as “dogmatic atheist libertarians.” Some had moved from skepticism to cynicism, no longer remaining open to new perspectives. Although there were many parts of the conference that resonated with me (most in fact), I had some perspectives that ran contrary to the herd. I liked to tell people that I was “skeptical about skepticism.”

Skepticism is defined in the dictionary as: the method of suspended judgment, systematic doubt, or criticism.

This feels awfully negative to me.

To me, skepticism should mean “critical thinking.” It implies remaining open to any possibility, while not accepting things at face value. It is about applying science and reasoning, recognizing the limitations of those disciplines. To do this, you must avoid both dogmatism and blind faith – two opposite ends of the spectrum. What is the difference between dogmatism, blind faith, and critical thinking?

If you are in a conversation with someone and you are dogmatic, you will immediately shoot down any perspective that is contrary to your own belief. Your knee-jerk response is, “No.” You go on the offensive and put the other person on the defensive. This does not help further the conversation.

Conversely, if you blindly accept what others say, your immediate response is “Yes.” You become a sheep following the herd. You don’t question the other person’s perspective. Again, this does not help further the conversation.

The critical thinker would ask, “Why?” “Why do you believe that to be true?” Try this with friends, colleagues and family. You will find it opens up a whole new level of conversation. This is where true learning and dialogue take place.

I encourage you to apply critical thinking to all areas of your life. This is an incredibly useful skill to learn, and one that few people practice. I believe that critical thinking combined with creativity, leadership, and social skills are the cornerstones of a successful and passionate “goal-free” life.

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Quote of the Day

Creativity is just having enough dots to connect… connect experiences and synthesize new things. The reason creative people are able to do that is that they’ve had more experiences or have thought more about their experiences than other people.

Steve Jobs, CEO Apple Inc.

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