The Search for Mr. Adequate

February 15, 2007  

Last year, I attended a “Renaissance Weekend” (these are private retreats for the accomplished leaders, and not Renaissance Festivals). One of the people I met was Susan Silver. She is special. In addition to being a wonderful human being, she’s had a successful TV writing career amongst her many accolades. But these days, Susan has been a bit “goal-less.” I asked her to write some thoughts on the topic. Take it away, Susan.

Susan SilverI, who had been a super achiever (television writer with lots of credits like The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Bob Newhart, and Maude) had recently been taking it easy. Ok, I became a lazzzzzyyyyy girl. But you can only lie in bed reading and daydreaming so much! But how to get oneself up and going in some direction? That’s what I needed to know.

Goal-Free Living was the answer – it freed me to get up! I had been focusing so hard on having to find one thing that I must do now to match old success, that I did zero. When Steve explained, and I read his book, it made a lot of sense. I chose some “aspirations” – like getting out of bed – and yes, I accomplished them! I am having a lot more fun these days and am really guilt free too. That’s sometimes hard for a Jewish girl, but I’ve done it!!

Last week Steve came to New York City and we went to lunch. He then generously offered me a “coaching session” so that I could continue the journey out of the house. Lo and behold, in one hour he had given me so many ideas that I am now the Energizer Bunny.

Here was one of his simple, yet out of the box (or in my case, out of the bedroom) ideas: I said I’d just discovered coffee as a really good way to get going in the morning. So he suggested that it would be great to combine this with one of my “aspirations” – finding Mr. “More than Adequate” (I write a column called “The Search for Mr. Adequate” on every Friday). Now, instead of brewing my own cup, I go out to a coffee shop once in a while and take a note pad to interview men. This provides great material for my column. And who knows, maybe I will even meet Mr. “The One.” It was so simple. Why didn’t I think of it myself?

He also asked what I am passionate about. I realized I’ve found myself a Presidential candidate to be excited about, for the first time in years. So I signed up for Barack Obama’s campaign.

In one week I’ve gone from rarely leaving the house to being one busy girl! I’m being driven by passion (and caffeine) rather than goals. Thanks Steve!

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