Goal-Free Partying

I’ve applied the goal-free concept to nearly every aspect of my life. Admittedly, I never thought to apply it to parties. But a friend of mine wrote me with her experience with a recent party she threw. Ah, it’s amazing how even when doing something that is supposed to be fun, we can turn it into a lot of work! Enjoy.

I suspect that at some time or another, you have thrown a party. And, by definition, parties are suppose to be “social gatherings especially for pleasure or amusement.” But somehow, for me, it never was quite like that. I would put undue pressure on myself by turning these “pleasurable” events into nothing more than a measure of my own self worth.
- How many people showed up = how many people liked me.
- How many people have fun = how good of a job I did at coordinating my party.

But I learned a pretty valuable lesson just the other day.

Every year, if our football team makes it to the playoffs, I throw a party. I painstakingly plan and coordinate, spend tons of money and agonize over every last detail. Well this year, our team once again made it to the post season. However, I was coming off of a deathly cold and had no interest in throwing such a soiree. So instead of the usual hemming and hawing, I simply invited a few close friends who, unlike in the past, had a passion for the sport. I didn’t care if 5 people or 500 showed up. I didn’t plan or spend a dime and I basically showed up as a participant at my own party. Well, much to my great surprise, the turnout was phenomenal. Every one brought food to eat and beverages to consume. The party was a huge success with friends showering me with thanks for an amazing time. And for the first time, I actually enjoyed myself as well! How could this be?! I didn’t have the gourmet food, the cute t-shirts, the party favors or decorations that so commonly accompany my gatherings. What made this a success? Simple…I was detached from the outcome. Instead of taking responsibility for everyone’s fun, I left it in the hands of those I should have always left it in…the participants! Instead of trying to artificially jam fun down people’s throats we just created it in the moment!

Now that is what I call a party!

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