Marrying Yourself

April 1, 2005  

I had an interesting conversation with a woman this morning. She said that she “married” herself a few years ago. The purpose is to continually remind her of her commitment to doing for herself what she would do for a spouse. Love, time, and respect. Only after having this type of relationship with herself could she begin to have a similar relationship with a man.

Over three years ago she bought herself a “wedding band”. She wears the ring on her left ring finger, the one traditionally saved for wedding bands and engagement rings. Her ring is silver with a huge blue stone, and it is a great visual reminder of what she’s doing. “It’s just so bold and blue, and a huge stone. It’s something different than I would normally get. I love it.” And from time to time she will buy some wine and toast vows to herself. “For better or worse to unconditionally love myself”.

After she started doing this, she discovered that Queen Latifah has done something similar. And this is an interesting concept for those who want to live goal-free. One of the secrets of Goal-Free Living is to “Want What You Have.” Too often the reason we have goals is that we feel something is missing and therefore we strive for more. But if we take the time to appreciate what we already have, the stranglehold of goals begins to loosen. When you take stock of the great things already in your life, your longing for more subsides. So take a moment to take stock of what you already have. And take time to appreciate yourself. Treat yourself with the dignity and respect you so deserve.